B33 – Shorten the Gap…if It Can Be So Simple

Summer is a great time for rest and relaxation. At the same time, it’s an opportunity to push through the doldrums to surpass the normal productivity of society. Meetings might have to be moved around to accommodate anothers’ travel plans, but often upon return, the schedule is surprisingly open. For a person who takes months to find a time slot to meet in the fall/winter/spring, you may just get a confirmation after the first or second attempt in the summer.

To me I’ve found it almost like a hack to the pace of normal business flow. A time to ramp up the meetings, not turn them down…and it’s worked. Much like there’s a natural flow of business, in the realm of self-help books, there is a natural progression of foundational classics suggested to begin with, like Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich and Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. The list goes on from there.

But, this week’s focus is on a book that attempts to create a manifesto, to distill the most important nuggets from each book in an attempt to hack the pace of normal “self-help” journeys. That book is Shorten the Gap by Mark Lack. He aggregates and consolidates what he believes are the core tenets of many of these books and puts them into a quick, easy, “do this” read. To the extent that we are able to blindly follow advice, it’s a solid opportunity to reduce the time and effort needed to invest in learning the nuances and riches of each book.

In a sense, the book’s spirit attempts to accomplish much of what these Wednesday posts try to do. The problem–once again–is the difference between knowledge and experience, superficial awareness and fully groking–knowing and doing.

One area I’m passionate about is sleep. I love it and yet want to get as little of it as possible and still feel fully rested and energized for the day. I know its importance in many bodily functions, but when do you go to sleep? When do you wake up? When do you shut off from the workday? Many role models I know get up at the crack of dawn–sometimes even earlier–like 4:30 or 5 am. While others do their best work in the wee hours of the morning and don’t go to sleep until 3 or 4 am.

So to the extent that a book on simplifying the lessons of other great books works, so too do I offer these pieces of advice told to me regarding sleep from two people I admire: Fred Wilson and Dave Marr.

Wake up at 5 am.

…ya that’s the distilled message, but naturally there’s far more to it –like when they shut down for work, when they fall asleep and what do they do when they are waking up without enough sleep.

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@fredwilson with 5 am wake up, what time do you wind down/unplug from electronics?

— Clifton Smith (@theCliftonSmith) June 28, 2016

@theCliftonSmith actual physical space. Home office or work office. I unplug at the end of the day, btwn 6&7

— Fred Wilson (@fredwilson) June 28, 2016

Dave Marr [paraphrasing]:

Wake up at the same time every day. Let your sleep amount vary if needed and suffer if need be, but keep to the morning routine. Since this will then be the norm, set up a workout routine to accompany your wake up. Your mind and body will wake up mid workout and eventually everything will adjust. You’ll get tired at night and, at some point, wake up that early without alarm. When you measure the month’s productivity, you’ll see my point. Also, justify the workouts as part of your overall value. You are optimizing your value and workouts are an integral part of that. So, don’t make breakfast appointments, or rarely, because you need to prioritize optimizing you. 5:00 wake up. 5:30 -7:00 workout. 7:00 – 8:00 breakfast and ready for work.

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With the vicissitudes of life, we go to bed at different times–especially as young professionals. I was under the impression that to live optimally, I should adjust the time I wake up to 6-7.5 hours after I sleep (since REM cycles are 90 minutes, it’s either 6 or 7.5 hours). However, that means my morning start times vary significantly, and waking up later puts me at a constant half (or whole) step behind the rest of the world–behind on my exercise, emails, calls, etc.

What I realized though is that the question has four components: time you stop working, time you go to bed, time asleep and time you wake-up. Which comes first? Wake up time? Time go to sleep?

As Dave said, the question is in your productivity. If you adjust when you wake-up, are you easily able to shift your entire days’ productivity schedule? When are you most productive? When do you need to be productive? Are you working with people in different time zones? All these factors are important to consider and measure…or you can just accept that you should wake up at 5 am every day….and do it…it’s THAT easy…#updatingPersonalFirmawareNow

I hope you enjoy my Cliff’s Notes, and also recognize the importance for self-doing and proper reflection as we attempt to simplify and consolidate–optimize–until it no longer can be.

Shorten the Gap

Fear is like a Chinese finger trap, don’t run away but push through to be released
Consider that failure comes with success, it means you’re winning when face failure
Success is not something you pursue, what you pursue eludes you, you attract success by who you become
Persistent forward motion creates momentum—a snowballing effect
Focus on desired outcome and then create strategies that could get that outcome as opposed to “To-do” lists
Our experience with people determine relationships, our memories keep them alive
Hard to truly love another if you don’t truly love yourself
Dress for role you want, not the role you have
Analyze tasks as urgent, important, and both: most do urgent over important then stress out because left important things at the end of day
Knowledge will not attract money unless it’s organized and intelligently directed through practical plans of action with a definite end to accumulate money
It’s not about what you actually have, but what you make with what you have
When say no to new things, means hardened in your ways, because can only find what like doing by trying new things at one point in life
Try sleeping on the floor one night to make self appreciate what you have
Well why don’t you give it a try. If you’ll just authorize this, we’ll get started right away and I’ll take care of all the details.
Imagine the reality you want for yourself, not the one you’re told you have, what’s your purpose? Imagine it

Below is the full summary

Shorten the Gap

Fear = Chinese Finger Trap: don’t run, but push towards and through it to be released
Success—most people thinking about it triggers fear, rewire brain to note that with success comes failure, it means you’re winning
A fly that continues to crash into wall doesn’t need more effort, it needs redirecting
What you tell yourself and who you see yourself as are most powerful determining factors of how your life works out
Believe in yourself more and raise internal bar
Success is not something you pursue, what you pursue eludes you, you attract success by who you become
Many times successful people have a clear vision of where they’re going and an understanding of skills they bring
Success = not having to accept substitutes for what you want, knowing your purpose and being the best you
- Need passion, a strong why, and mentor/friend to keep you on track
If you want to achieve what you do not have, you have to be willing to do what you have not done
When want something badly enough it becomes a must not a want
- Persistent forward motion creates momentum: snowballing effect
Our association determines behavior which determines results
- Be careful what words you choose to say
- Different people have different associations with words and images
Do not let lifetime of built up perceptions and associations of world alter what really is
First impressions are huge
Tone of voice will affect how interpret and perceive message
- Reflect recipient’s energy
People remember how you made them feel not what you say
Be a good listener
People spiral downward: switching between depressed/sad and angry/frustrated
- Gives them a sense of control temporarily but really causes more loneliness
Change your physiology (posture) and language you use to determine/change how you feel
- Focus on it and tell yourself
To-do lists are dangerous because they don’t allow room for change/flexibility
- Instead focus on the desired outcome and then create strategies that could get that outcome
Your body reflects the energy that you attract and focus on
- You have trained your body to react in certain ways when something happens
Our experience with people determine relationships, our memories are what keep them alive
- As long as you have memories, you will have the love
When you die you become timeless
Focus on what you want, not on what want to avoid
Low confidence comes from low preparation, so prepare
Use positive affirmations
Successful people are simply those with successful habits
Stress: distress = negative, eustress = positive—nothing can get you upset unless you let it
Mind = your house, don’t let bad things into it
RAS: focus: when bad things happen, pause and focus on 3 things that make you happy, move, and posture
When someone is in negative state, will defend it at all costs so don’t try to remove them from that situation
It’s the little tiny steps we make everyday that shape us
If I told you shovel elephant poop 1 hour a day for 10 years and you’d be happy, successful, etc. by the end, would you do it?
- Replace shoveling poop with reading a book
Losers practice until they get it right, winners practice until they can’t get it wrong
Write down what you want to accomplish
- Decide when you want it, write down how you’re going to accomplish them
E + R = O
- Events (can’t control) + Responses (can control) = outcome (can control)
- Think of the outcomes from all angles and include possibility of not doing anything
You choose which energy to emit à what you attract
- Must constantly commit to it
- Strengthen and develop how to utilize that energy
Hard to truly love another if you don’t truly love yourself
- Practice loving yourself and giving compliments 7x
In relationship: focus on giving love, not about who gives more or scorecard
Six needs of humans: certainty, variety/uncertainty, significance, connection and love, growth, contribution
- Rank each out of 10 in your job and with partner
First work on self and put aside your pride
Contribution and reciprocity, taking the initiative
When mind filled with anger and other emotions proven to cloud judgment
Don’t make decisions in heated emotional state
You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with
Life isn’t about finding yourself it is about creating yourself
- Focus not on the wanting to be a certain way but being that way
When you try to stop something, that’s a behavior which stems from your identity, to change, change your identity
Your words create perception of who you think you are and what you do
- Give your title a fun nickname
Dress for role you want, not the role you have
Person’s health is everything: spirals you up
Time management is huge
- Organize working/living space
Analyze your tasks: urgent, important, both
- Most do “urgent” over important then stress themselves out because left important things at end of day
Paying someone to do something you can allows you more free time
Multi-tasking is bad: when work, work, when play, play
Start investing and saving: quickest returns is to invest in self
- Live off 85%, 10% savings, 5% self-improvement
Everyone’s a sales person
- Hot buttons are a person’s biggest reason for being influenced or persuaded
- Ask great questions, listen and pickup individuals hot buttons
Approach each customer with idea of solving a problem or achieving a goal, not selling a product or service
Everyone has different beliefs and values: find out what they are with great questions that gain trust
- People spend more money on wants than needs
- People buy for emotional reasons then justify with logical ones
People do things to avoid pain: open wounds, sprinkle salt
Dress is hugely important, smile, mirror, compliment
Script:
- I’m not here to sell you anything. I just want to ask you a few questions to maybe see if my company can help you and your company in a more cost-effective way. The questions will only take a few minutes. Sound fair?
- If say no: “I’m sure you have a good reason for saying, ‘No.’ May I ask what it is?”
Ask for referrals of someone who might be good, 2-3 leads, try to get them on phone and schedule meeting right then and there (mention name of person)
Change business model to focus on biggest clients: not about capturing more clients, about more valuable clients
Features tell, benefits sell
Think of lifetime value of a client: sell more to existing is easier than a new one
Don’t waste time with people that are wasting yours, move on and get to the next call ASAP
- Use working day as effectively as possible
- Don’t take rejection personally: embrace it as opportunity for improvement and natural
- Ask “why don’t you want it”
Need a strong opening hook: powerful that DOESN’T describe your product or service
- Talk about value you are offering, benefits they are missing out on, and negative possibilities they might run into
Script: Build hype so can say “I’d love to meet with you so I can really show you what I got
Never mention price over the phone, just build curiosity to point where they have to meet you
Script: Gatekeeper
- May I ask who is in charge of making the decisions regarding _____
  - Get first and last name
- Could you please connect me with (name)
- No: tell person to leave him a message that you called, don’t leave number, just your name
Avoid at all costs in describing it, mentioning anything about price, inspire curiosity
Script: Not Interested
- I’m sure you have a good reason for saying that. May I ask what it is?
- Too high: I understand exactly how you feel. Others felt the same way when they first heard the price. But this is what they found when they began using our product or service—give them testimonial
Script: Closing
- Are there any questions or concerns I haven’t covered?
- No I think you covered: well then why don’t you give it a try. If you’ll just authorize this, we’ll get started right away and I’ll take care of all the details.
- Throughout the close: reassure they have made the best decision possible: You’ve made a great decision. You’re really going to be happy.
- Choice close: did you want the purple or the blue one?
  - Don’t give them option other than one of your products
- I can’t afford it: Do you not believe that this product/service will give you (all benefits stated)
- No but…: Then, is the price not justifiable or worth all the value and benefits you’ll receive?
- No, it is: well, then it sounds like you agree with me—that you would benefit from this and that the price is justifiable. So give it a try.
- Check close: make sure on same page: What do you think so far? Is this what you’re looking for? Is this more effective than what you’re currently using?
- More price issues: we sell hundreds each year to intelligent people like yourself. Let me tell you why. (repeat benefits, use testimonials)
- Starting strong: If I could show you the best (product or service) around, would you be interested in hearing more about it, or would you be interested in buying it? I guarantee it’s better than anything you’re using right now
After you ask for close and hand paper to authorize, be silent, first one to open mouth loses
Upsell and cross-sell: you may also like this (small add on)
Just because someone says “no” first time, doesn’t mean won’t say “yes” 7^th time
- Persistence
Always search for change, respond to it, and exploit as an opportunity
Entrepreneurs average 3.8 failures before final success: persist
Constant never ending improvement is key, involved in different industries
Examine reason why they failed, and learn and prepare for next lesson
Humble when successful, help those less fortunate
Appreciative, knowledgeable, enthusiastic
Multiple streams of cash flow
When work, work, play, play
Limitless: thought backed with plan of action
Machines and outsourcing take over many left-brain (calculations), dominant jobs: engineering, accounting, finance
Creative, strategic thinking, sales, leadership: good to focus skills on
- Harder to be replaced by machine
Learning is relationship of 2+ things: use metaphors/analogies to learn faster
Use visualization strategies to create an image in mind of what want to remember
- Focus on object and start describing everything else you see
- Read word(s), close eyes, and visualize those word(s), increase number of words
If not applying knowledge, not doing
Knowledge will not attract money unless it’s organized and intelligently directed through practical plans of action with a definite end to accumulate money
Knowledge = potential power only
Imagine the reality you want for yourself, not the one you’re told you have
- What’s your purpose—imagine it
- Most spend lives working towards an undefined purpose
Reward self and others (even if strangers) for doing a job well done
- External (eat/massage) and internal rewards (mini-vacations, turn phone off, etc.)
- Remember: not what you say, but how make them feel
Once we stop being selfish, give what want in return
Feel appreciative: not “if” we eat, but “what” we eat, blessed
- Try sleeping on ground one night to appreciate what have
We at times allow our external environment to influence our level of appreciation to some extent: be aware and counter it
Not about what you actually have, it’s about what you make with what you have
Focus on all the amazing, small things of life that constantly surround us to have a happier enjoyable life
Anyone who is successful has a very high level of awareness in their niche
RAS: pick up consciously that which programmed subconsciously to pick up on
When say no to new things, means hardened in your ways because only find what like doing by trying new things at one point in life

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