Have you ever been sold something you didn’t really want to buy? Or once you left the store you have this sinking feeling inside of you as though you bought the item for no real reason except because you wanted to make the sales person happy?
No? Really? Are you sure?
How about replacing the word “store” with “bar”? Cute bartender. Talking to someone you want to impress or want to have the the interaction continue. So you say “yes” and buy another one.
It may be a trivial act. But there’s far more persuasive techniques being employed here than you may recognize. Now if instead of a bartender and booze, pretend it was a stockbroker and stock, would your defenses be up a little more?
Probably.
But sometimes, the salesmanship is so great, that you can’t help but sit back and watch in awe–even if you don’t like or want the salesman to succeed.
Here’s one of my favorite sales scenes that I want to root against the seller but just can’t because it’s so smooth:
The reason I love this scene is not just the smooth talking, but my learned ability to identify and breakdown the different techniques and tactics the salesman uses to influence his target.
The truth is, those techniques can be used for good or evil. It’s up to you to decide how you want to use them.
Even if you never use any techniques of influence, the mere act of being aware of persuasive tactics and strategies helps you create your own defenses when these types tactics are being used by others to try to affect your decisions. Hopefully then you get to a state of awareness where you no longer leave a store with an unwanted item or another round of drinks you didn’t want to order.
An expert in this topic of influence and someone whom I am grateful for for sharing her wisdom with me, Sharí Alexader has made a name for herself by becoming an expert through intense studying and interviewing every type of person related to the topic of influence, from All-star salesmen to CIA agents to Pick up Artists. She has woven the tactics of persuasion the professionals use into a cohesive, coherent narrative easily understood by the average person. I highly recommend you check her out. This is probably my favorite lecture she did at USC.
Who knows, it may just be that your bartenders are using those very same tactics the CIA agents use. (Hint: They are)